Odin’s Blood -Hereditary Hemochromatosis

Years days minutes agree,

red forever flows downstream

Though man will rise to eternity, it cannot listen to his plea

Lingsberg Runestone

Lingsberg Runestone

 

Though agony of time surrounds,

and somber fantasy abounds,

Red rivers flow in life pristine in fuchsia blue red crystalline 

 

Odin’s rune flowed down to sea

Cursed crimson vines the family tree

We live until we die you see, reciprocal magnanimity.~Kathleen Wells

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Arrow

arrow2Arrow an Allegory of Life

Television and movies have never been that important to me. In fact being an active person my entire life up until illness forced me to slow down, I could never sit still long enough to finish most movies. Sitcoms, a handful could garner my attention. Dramas, the epitome of boring, I would rather be out living than watching others do it. Which is why we decided to give Direct TV up. We only watched a few series, Walking Dead, Breaking Bad which had already ended. We decided for my downtime to get Netflix streaming since with my illness there is going to be downtime. Maybe I could find something interesting.

It was hard at first to find anything that could hold my attention. Found a few excellent movies then a few excellent series like Firefly that drew me in. Netflix kept telling me the series Arrow would appeal to me. Seeing it was on CW I figured it was geared towards younger audiences not something a 50 something grandmother would find interesting but eventually I gave it a try. I was immediately hooked. The writing directing and acting comes together to tell a story of suffering, strength and survival. From that grows many subplots that are deeper than one would expect. It definitely had my attention.

The essence of the DC comic based series pilot is “survival,” many can relate to that. We may not have been hunted and tortured on an island but the fictional story can easily be non-fictional allegory. Many have suffered and must survive on islands of beatings, rape, abuse, homelessness, illness and loneliness. Sometimes survival is all that is left which is one reason Arrow appeals to me. At some point in suffering we may feel like giving up, death would be so much easier. The lead character in Arrow is compelled to survive through horrific circumstances by a promise made to his father. His father sacrificed himself so Oliver could live, with a purpose, to right his father’s wrongs. Honor comes into play. We must all find our purpose to survive when times get rough. We must all find our honor.

Lead character Oliver Queen feels damaged but doesn’t let that stop him or effect his ability to see his vision fulfilled. If you have suffered the way some have you know the feeling. You don’t want people to know all the terrible things you have been through so you hide it well, try to fit in. All the while keeping a huge part of yourself from the world. The part that too many would not understand because it is so outside their realm of experience. Somehow the fictional series is cathartic.  Watching Oliver fight his enemies I find myself drawn to his victories. The story gives me fuel. This damaged man turns his suffering into strength and uses it to try to make things right.

As a peace lover fighting and bloodshed is not that entertaining to me. The stunts in this show are attention holding works of art. Fight scenes you can’t take your eyes off of, excellent stunt work. You can see the hard work that goes into it and the hard work on the actors part who play those scenes. This series has a winning combination of talented people coming together to tell a dramatic story. In season 2 “Crucible” there is a simple line that I love and have adopted; “Living is not for the weak.”

My hope is that they do not change no matter what, that they don’t add this or take away that in order to appease anyone. Everything Arrow is doing works. The story gives me strength. Fiction or non-fiction I’ll take strength anyway I can get it.

Mourning Comes Around

Soon it will be 10 months since my mother died while under hospice care here at my home. Life and death can be so simple and yet so complicated. Death brings relief from suffering and a whole new class of suffering for those left behind. I think the worst of it was the family chaos. Family members who neglected my mother all of her elderly years suddenly demanded free access regardless if she was up to it or not. It ended up with myself my husband and niece shouldering the burden of not only her care but protecting her through the dying process. Everyone deserves to die in peace. That’s the least we should have to cope with. I mean, we are dying! Can anything get harder that trying to die in peace with dignity?

Her passing has caused me to look into death with dignity i.e. giving the dying the choice of when and how to end it. Up till now I felt that physician assisted suicide was wrong for many reasons. One reason was that depression could factor in to the decision, depression that may be treated with medicines. As the saying goes; suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. The problem with applying this is that it is backwards in someone dying. Dying is the permanent solution to temporary suffering. When one gets to that point where there is no turning back, no drugs or surgeries are going to fix this just suffering upon suffering, the individual should be given the choice. After watching my mother die a slow horrible death from cancer I now see things differently. No wonder people prefer to shuffle their elderly loved ones into lonely often horrific care facilities to die alone. Dying is ugly, it can be hard on everyone and takes great fortitude to help someone die at home.

Here’s a heads up; morphine doesn’t help agonizing bone pain in the end. I did everything I could to ease my mother’s suffering but with each turn to clean her she moaned in wretched pain. She had to be moved we had to clean her. Hospice gave her more morphine but it didn’t work. They need liquid narcotic pain relievers that’s all there is to it. They also need liquid anti-nausea medication because they can’t swallow towards the end and the narcotics may cause nausea. The end comes too slowly, it’s a horrible process. After going through this I was terrified of my own death. My health is bad, I have life threatening chronic illnesses. This is how I came to believe in physician assisted suicide. No one should have to suffer like that. We would never have allowed one of our dogs to suffer like that.

As a follower of Jesus’ teachings I wasn’t sure how God felt about physician assisted suicide. I do believe my God is a God of unconditional love and mercy. Would Jesus have walked by someone in agonizing pain and do nothing? He healed, he wept for our suffering. Sometimes death is the ultimate in being healed and every death is different. As a follower I don’t believe death is the end. As an empath I know it is not.

The dying need beautiful light during the day and calm dark during the night. They need someone there almost all the time. My mother would often look over at the chair I and my niece would sit in just to see if we or one of our beloved supporters were there. They need their pets to visit with them. They need family around them but only those they spent time with and enjoyed being around. What happens is people live a lifetime not telling the truth about how they feel about someone. That person may have no idea the dying persons true feelings but those close friends and family know the truth and the dying need to be protected from unwelcome visits.

Watch the video free below and think about these things if you haven’t already. One thing for sure is we will all face death so we all have to deal with this issue. My mother was 82 when cancer took her from us. I can’t say for sure what she would have done if given the choice to take a drink and die quietly without the long days of conscious misery but I know now what choice I would make. I can only hope it is legal in my state when my time comes.

Two weeks before her death

Two weeks before her death

http://www.howtodieinoregon.com/2013-01-08_07-23-57_613

http://www.deathwithdignity.org/

https://twitter.com/DeathwDignity

Watch free online http://ffilms.org/how-to-die-in-oregon-2011/

Echos

My Mother

Audrey Wilson

8/24/1930 – 1/14/2013

Echos

Your empty room has an echo now

an empty place in our hearts and how

One never knows how the pain will go

When faced with loss and the echo

We miss your generous heart

All your crazy quilting art

In truth and honesty you took delight

Always reaching for heaven’s Light

It was hard to face tomorrow

The echo in our heart is sorrow

Passing time will never end

The echo left by our best friend

You survived calamity, seeking truth at Calvary

The jester in you hid the pain

Let the desert rain,  Oh let it rain

By Kathleen Wells

Peace: Christ Consciousness

Peace is a choice. Peace can be a sacrifice. When there is someone in our life that brings us strife and chaos we have the choice to engage them or distance ourselves from them. If we then choose to engage that person we are willingly giving up our peace. A soldier goes to war knowing they will be called to sacrifice personal peace and possibly their physical life for their country. At some point we must weigh the cost of the sacrifice without blaming others if peace is lacking in our lives.

Is it logical to say we can have peace while suffering? Well yes, however there are many degrees to peace. Can we honestly say Jesus was experiencing pure peace on the cross? If that were so he would not have cried out; ““EloiEloi, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”) in Mark 15:34. He willingly gave up his peace as a sacrifice to the world.

We can choose to sacrifice peace in order to serve humanity and still seek peace through our suffering. We can choose not to take insults personally knowing everyone is on their own learning journey. We can choose not to take betrayal personally knowing they are still learning the lessons of loyalty. The ability to forgive is our path to peace through suffering. It would be easier to become a monk that separates themselves from the world but to engage, to serve, to sacrifice for another in the end will bring the highest peace attainable on the planet. The peace of sacrifice.

Franklin Graham of Samaritan’s Purse with the Nuba peoples of Sudan

Opening the Pathways

When we are born we are closest to the Source of our being. We are born happy, simple, content thriving in love. We are friends to all. We love animals and delight in them. We then progress through the physical form of life. We become entangled in the physical world and its requirements; education, conformity and success. The Light of our Source fades farther and farther as we age and become damaged from the physical realms effects on us. So then what is the answer? To reconnect with the Source, to transcend the physical materiel world that binds us in coffins of pain and loneliness. The Source is Life, abundant life, joy and clarity. We must open the pathways to return to where we came from, the World of Light.

Where does our journey go? This is Aberdeen the road we take when we go to the city.

Who are we?

In this world of illusions it can be a challenge to live in the reflective Light of Glory. The physical world offers many delights and diversions from politics to over consumption of earthly resources. The vibration of life hides quietly waiting to awaken our soul that we can then remember who we are. We are light, we are love, we are eternal.